The Unveiling (2 of 8)
In the words of a wise and noble sage from days of old, "Masturbation may be fun, but two is better than one."
Yes, brothers and sisters, sometimes it doth indeed take two. For instance, imagine trying to hide thy spouse's body following a fight over washing the dishes. Would it not be easier to have a friend along to lug that body out of the trunk, help dig holes and blame when the screws put thee under the hot-light?
Imagine also, my devout ones, trying to push old ladies into oncoming traffic by thyself. Aye, it could be done but then who would laugh with thee once yon old bag met her fate? Indeed, robbing a gas station would be that much more difficult without a decent get-away driver. And forget about selling drugs to schoolchildren without a good chunk of muscle at thy side.
In the words of the Buddha, "Blessed is the time spent alone." But in the words of some other guy, "Is thy ass truly scratched if thy fingers cannot be seen scratching?"
Think about THAT!!!
Done yet?
Now?
Yes?
Are you sure?
Very well...
The reason the Church of Scribe is speaking of two-somes and duos is because this week's saintly revelation is a two-fer. Yes, children, TWO saints for the price of one. And just what be that price? Ah, nothing much-just complete and unquestioning allegiance to the spiritual path of hedonism and indecisiveness. For only in a lack of consistency can absolute Truth be found.
That's why people who work in city clerk office's are so much more highly evolved and enlightened than the average human.
Another two highly elevated humans have come to the Church's attention, therefore 'tis an issue begging to be addressed. However, over the past Earthly decade have they distinguished themselves as a take-no-shit pair of cool and funny sum bitches of the highest order.
The Church of Scribe and all of Scribeism happily and respectfully presents its latest patron saints in our long-standing but brand new religious tradition of fluctuation and constant change:
Saints Trey Parker and Matt Stone- Patron Saints of Parody and Not Giving a Flying Fuck What People Think.
The beauty of these two sexy saints, clad in their Verssaci J-ho outfits, is a living, glowing thing that fills my soul and colon with equal parts joy and anal squirts. ACCURSED INDIAN FOOD!!!
Anyway...Saints Parker & Stone exemplify the Church's beliefs that all things are open to ridicule and humor, no matter whose tight ass they are prying open with a crowbar.
Most recently the saints did battle with the so-called Church of Scientology, a product of a second-tier science fiction writer's imagination that had mutated into a cult with members all over the Western World. For when they did dare criticize this religion, the inevitable fall-out did include the loss of Issac Hayes (scientologist) as the beloved character Chef, oversexed philosopher and savior of the small hick town of South Park, Colorado.
In the past have they dealt steel-toed ass-kicks to other organized religions, celebrities and armchair activists.
Scribeism applauds anyone who knows how to keep it real without a gun stuffed in their baggy-ass jammy pants. So all hail the newest patron saints.
Long may their tongue-in-cheek, foul-mouthed asses cast a critical eye upon the stupidities of society at large~
Yes, brothers and sisters, sometimes it doth indeed take two. For instance, imagine trying to hide thy spouse's body following a fight over washing the dishes. Would it not be easier to have a friend along to lug that body out of the trunk, help dig holes and blame when the screws put thee under the hot-light?
Imagine also, my devout ones, trying to push old ladies into oncoming traffic by thyself. Aye, it could be done but then who would laugh with thee once yon old bag met her fate? Indeed, robbing a gas station would be that much more difficult without a decent get-away driver. And forget about selling drugs to schoolchildren without a good chunk of muscle at thy side.
In the words of the Buddha, "Blessed is the time spent alone." But in the words of some other guy, "Is thy ass truly scratched if thy fingers cannot be seen scratching?"
Think about THAT!!!
Done yet?
Now?
Yes?
Are you sure?
Very well...
The reason the Church of Scribe is speaking of two-somes and duos is because this week's saintly revelation is a two-fer. Yes, children, TWO saints for the price of one. And just what be that price? Ah, nothing much-just complete and unquestioning allegiance to the spiritual path of hedonism and indecisiveness. For only in a lack of consistency can absolute Truth be found.
That's why people who work in city clerk office's are so much more highly evolved and enlightened than the average human.
Another two highly elevated humans have come to the Church's attention, therefore 'tis an issue begging to be addressed. However, over the past Earthly decade have they distinguished themselves as a take-no-shit pair of cool and funny sum bitches of the highest order.
The Church of Scribe and all of Scribeism happily and respectfully presents its latest patron saints in our long-standing but brand new religious tradition of fluctuation and constant change:
Saints Trey Parker and Matt Stone- Patron Saints of Parody and Not Giving a Flying Fuck What People Think.The beauty of these two sexy saints, clad in their Verssaci J-ho outfits, is a living, glowing thing that fills my soul and colon with equal parts joy and anal squirts. ACCURSED INDIAN FOOD!!!
Anyway...Saints Parker & Stone exemplify the Church's beliefs that all things are open to ridicule and humor, no matter whose tight ass they are prying open with a crowbar.
Most recently the saints did battle with the so-called Church of Scientology, a product of a second-tier science fiction writer's imagination that had mutated into a cult with members all over the Western World. For when they did dare criticize this religion, the inevitable fall-out did include the loss of Issac Hayes (scientologist) as the beloved character Chef, oversexed philosopher and savior of the small hick town of South Park, Colorado.
In the past have they dealt steel-toed ass-kicks to other organized religions, celebrities and armchair activists.
Scribeism applauds anyone who knows how to keep it real without a gun stuffed in their baggy-ass jammy pants. So all hail the newest patron saints.
Long may their tongue-in-cheek, foul-mouthed asses cast a critical eye upon the stupidities of society at large~
"You know that everyone thinks that in order to do South Park we must be wild, crazy, rock and roll stars. But the truth is we're just wholesome middle-American guys. We enjoy soda pop, baseball and beating up old people just as much as anybody."– Trey Parker, on himself and Matt Stone
posted by Minister Scribe at 1:29 PM
8 Comments:
All Hail, Saints of Parody and Light! Pink and Green are my new favorite colors.
Indeed, and hairy chests are my new favorite cuddle spot!!! :)
Dude I've got like locks of their hair in my fridge!!! Can I be a saint too?
indeed, my child, just maintain a respectful and holy distance.
of course they care what people think - otherwise they wouldn't be wearing dresses.
whoa
Simon, perhaps this is a case of language usage misinterpretation. In The US of Ass we use the term to denote a refusal to confrom to societal expectations.
Hmm, not a very good term then.
Perhaps "non-conformist" would be better.
Heard of the Pedants Revolt, lead by Which Tyler?
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