WEDNESDAY'S SERMON A FEW HOURS EARLY!!!

Hark, brothers, sisters, and non-gender specific types, for the Church of Scribe is truly pissed this day!!!

A most foul and repugnant thing hath come to our attention and now we must preach the Scribeist Gospel in repudiation of it.

For years now have I heard the Yellow-haired Demon that calls itself “Girlfriend” refer to the abstract concept known as the “Glass Ceiling” as if it is an acceptable norm of capitalism and Big Business. For years have I heard the demon say its brother “penetrated” this concept while in his twenties and was well on his way to achieving huge measures of suck-cess in the insurance industry.

And for years did the Scribe believe the phrase “Glass Ceiling” referred to an invisible barrier separating those in the upper echelon from those in the trenches. A most unfavorable metaphor borrowed in no small part from Dante’s Inferno. It's akin to saying those who are not wealthy or succesful are wretched and cast-off.

The Church of Scribe finds this to be a term of the shittiest heights of evil and immorality. It is the crusted feces on the tip of the stick of the human experience, refusing to be shaken off or to dry and flake away into nothing. It is the festering boil on humanity’s ass, returning no matter how many times it’s been lanced to again plague the collective buttocks anew. It is, ultimately, an inferior metaphor to the two I just used so fucketh them’s what disagree!

And fucketh them’s what see nothing wrong with living above or beneath the Ceiling of Glass.

Woe be unto those who practice and preach the doctrines of elitism and excessive gas consumption. A pox upon thee if you believeth in giving to receive a reward or righting wrongs with a checkbook. For you, o repulsive one, are living above the Glass Ceiling, the partition ‘tween the World of Beautiful Chaos and the Realm of Selfish Assholes. (It’s in the Bible, I swear…eth!)

The Church of Scribe stands in indirect opposition to all forms of segregation. In fact, we think all of those who practice segregation should be forced to live separated from the rest of us, where they shall be provided their own toilets and drinking fountains. These Segregators will not be permitted to move into our pure neighborhoods and will be harassed by our Integrated Police Force whenever they drive through our pure and crime free ‘hoods.

Aye and they shall not attendeth schools with us and they shall turn to lives of crime until the eventual day of their moral outcry that doth result in equal rights for them. But by then it shall be too late and they shall be second class citizens for ETERNITYYYYY!!!

BWAAAA HAAAA HAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Wait…that sounds just like what they do…how is that righteous?

Well, how the hell do we get back at them, then?

Hmmm, according to my theological instructions at the Great School of Internet Correspondence Courses on Bilking the Naïve and Willing, the best thing to do is switch the subject matter without letting on that you’re doing so.

Hey, guess what the true definition of “Glass Ceiling” is?

Well, the first one the Church found said this: glass ceiling - a ceiling based on attitudinal or organizational bias in the work force that prevents minorities and women from advancing to leadership positions.

Okaaaayyyyy. That’s not how the demon uses it…or is it? Perplexed, the Church decided to seek a second definition and found this: glass ceiling
n.
An unacknowledged discriminatory barrier that prevents women and minorities from rising to positions of power or responsibility, as within a corporation

Excuse us??? “Unacknowledged?” Then who created this demonic expression? We decided to consult the online version of the Merriam-Webster dictionary because we didn’t feel like consulting the far superior American heritage one. We found this:
Merriam-Webster
Main Entry: glass ceilingFunction: noun: an intangible barrier within the hierarchy of a company that prevents women or minorities from obtaining upper-level positions

So now ‘twas unanimous! Three different daffy-nitions all agreed that Glass Ceiling was much more than a simple separation of powers. It was an institutionalized system of bigotry designed to keep members of “undesirable” groups out of coveted inner circles.

According to our extensive research---we must’ve spent like five minutes on this!!!---two different women have been credited with coining this phrase some time in either the late 1980’s or early 1990’s as a way of describing the resistance of white males to racial minority and female acquisition of upper echelon leadership roles.

So…how could Yellow Demon’s very white, very upper Middle Class brother penetrate a barrier that was not placed there for him? Only one answer can be possible: Evil has taken terms once meant to describe discrimination against minorities and chicks for its own twisted, insidious purposes!

Beware people of color, women-folk and whites who are able to think in 3 dimensions rather than merely 2! A new and stupider enemy hath arrived, and though the Church of Scribe is ready to do battle, it doth needeth help!!!

Yes, fighting with us is important, but weapons don’t come cheap…Unfortunately, many of you still have not linked thy checking accounts to the Holy Account of the Church!!! Shame, shame, SHAME!!!

Don’t make me shatter the Glass Ceiling and come down there!!!