FROM THE ASHES DOTH A NEW SAINT EMERGE!!!

Just when they minister didst think yon doors of yon church were officially closed, ye didst some seriously enraging shit arise to test mine non-faith in no-thing!!!

Aye, mine ardent yet fairweather flock, thy minister had indeed stepped away from the pulpit, chopped it down with a mysteriously blood-soaked hatchet, and donated the wood to the homeless for one final bitchin' tax write-off!!!

And verily wouldst I have walked away from the Discordian Way, saddened over the deaths of the two greatest thinkers in our world: Robert Anton Wilson & Anna Nicole Smith. Thou wilt notice these two thinkers both had three names! That is because all great thinkers do! Lee Harvey Oswald, Brian Doyle Murray and Hayley Joel Osmont cometh to mind!!! This is also why that plagarist Jesus only had one name for he was an idea thief!!!

Sadly, flock, the Truly Great amongst us doth suffer the most. Ye, those of us fortunate enough to see them for what they art must act to protecteth them from the madding crowd! The Fools who runneth the world are naught but oppressors of wisdom, sent forth by some evil guy to do...stuff!!!

Thy minister lost his train of thought! It has been a while, thou knows!!! Stoppeth the fucking laughing at once!!!

ANYWAY!!!

As I was saying, the Church of Scribe had all but sold itself to some ghetto-ass revival group (which is why thou art standing instead of sitting upon the benches I didst sell for a bottle of ripple and hooker money) when this news didst cometh down the pike!

The following headline raised the hackles on mine neck and forced me to again don my yellow-stained robes:

"Man gets probation for dead deer sex"

At first, this would appear to be a positive thing since probation doth mean a person ithn't going to jail. But then I sobered up (well, two hours and lots of those awful egg-blender drinks later) and did realize that PROBATION also meant the person was ARRESTED in the first place!

Now thy minister was truly pissed. All this man wanted was to express his love on a dear animal and the Puritannical States of Amurica decided to come into his bedroom? And...the forest? How DARE they!? Mine outrage knew no bounds! I cancelled the call girl who was coming over and immediately called mine congressman!

Well, somebody's congressman...I don't really knoweth who the hell mine is! But the point is somebody answered the phone! I did inform the someone/congressman that although I am loathe to involve religion and politics, mine church is neither religious nor political! Then I again did lose mine train of thought and started watching old episodes of "The Beverly Hillbillies." The rest of the night is a blur, but rest assured, I am BACK my children!!!

Now where was I going with this?

Wait...

Wait a minute..

Oh! Deer fucking!!!

Why must these Judeo-Christian simpletons always control our actions, desires and feelings? It's not like their god tells them how to live and provides rules for them to follow! Hmmm? Really? WOW!!!

Well, who cares!? The point is, the Church of Scribe doth have a new saint!!!

The Circle of Not-so Divine But Still Somehow Holy in a Purely Real World Way doth continue to turn like a rubber wheel with feces stuck on it! Slow and steady!!!

Thus my chir'dren I do present to thee the latest saint in the Scribeist pantheon!!!

Bryan James Hathaway, saint of Dead Animal Love!!!

Thou wilt no doubt notice he has three names!!!

Let us not bow our heads and non-pray:

Great Unwashed Non-Purity, may thy lackluster qualities shine upward or downward depending on where thou art sleeping off thy previous night's inebriation. May the expression of love for an animal whose passing is "mysterious" be allowed to proceed unfettered. May the love of Saint Hathaway shed its warmth upon as, that we might express our own love in a unique fashion that disturbs the Fools among us.

Hail Eris!

Minister Scribe is back, muthafukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa